| Kuksenkov said: As a bisexual individual, I'm supposed to be part of this LFBTQJXBEKUV+ "community", but I personally believe that the entire gender talk is ridiculous. I will never understand "genderfluid" individuals who fluctuate between genders depending on how they are feeling. Nor will I ever understand those who utilize "they/them/their" pronouns when referring to themselves. These kind of people are struggling to love themselves and the bodies they were born with, and as a result all these bullshit of "I feel like a man today, but maybe in 10 minutes from now I'll be a woman. Tomorrow I am multiple genders at once, and next month I'll identify as a hydra from ancient mythology because I CAN and I FEEL THAY WAY, so you should address and acknowledge me as a monster from ancient mythology if I feel like one". No, there is three options: Man/Woman/Other (please specify). |
Okay YOU I feel like I relate to, although I do think I can maybe help a bit with the particular confusion you're having around what "non-binary" identities are about. I've observed that those tend to be temporary identities that some people embrace as functionally a kind of stepping stone until they are ready to fully dissociate from their bodies and identify themselves completely with the opposite sex. Think of the stages this way:
Male --> Non-Binary --> Trans Woman
OR
Female --> Non-Binary --> Trans Man
People don't usually stick with quirky "non-binary" identities for very long, in my observation.
But I relate to feeling a bit distant from the LGBTQIARESTOFTHEALPHABET2++ community that I'm supposed to belong to as a lesbian, which I prefer to shorthand as "the queer community" for aesthetic reasons because it's an accepted term by that community which captures I think the real essence of it also, as well as the reason why I struggle to find a place therein: membership in the scene today is much more defined by whether subscribes ideologically to queer theory than it is by sexual orientation or any other factor. Those who may not agree with all the aspects of queer theory can be excommunicated.
I find it's sometimes neat to talk to older gay, bi, and lesbian people who precede the popularization of queer theory in the 1990s, as they'll sometimes relay views of how sexual orientation works that bear little resemblance to the typical contentions that you hear in the scene now. One such older belief is that everyone is bisexual in reality and that embracing either strict heterosexuality, lesbianism, or strict male homosexuality is a response to pressure or to lived experiences. When I look at studies like this one wherein 60% of women who call themselves "heterosexual" also say that they're attracted to other women, I get the feeling that maybe this older view is more accurate...at least closer to the truth...than the view that says only the 7% who actually say that they're bi or lesbian in fact are. Similarly, people over 60 who identify as trans often have a different view of how that works too.
Last edited by Jaicee - on 04 June 2019
