I think the best distinction alongside which we can separate sex and gender is the material and ideal distinction.
Sex is our own material reality. You are born physically a man or a woman (or intersex in exceptional cases).
Gender is the ideal reflection of that material reality. What social structures are build around us being male or female? What is expected of us as a male or female? How are our individual thoughts structured in relation to the gender structures of society.
The problem we encounter is the same as the use of the words "race" and "ethnicity". They're being used interchangeably, leading to people getting confused and even angry over the concepts.
People have especially poor ideas around what gender as a constructed reality means. People thing "Well, if Gender is a construct, I can be/ choose to be/ make the term out to be anything". leading to confusing unscientific ideas like the gender spectrum, which disassociates the gender idea from the material sex, rendering the term practically useless.
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