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Kalkano said:
No. And, I have to say, I would rather die alone than have the sort of "open relationship" that some people are describing...

Personally, I find to have a lot of open/casual/non-exclusive relationships are the best way to get to figure out who you are as a person in the relationship world. It's a good way to make sure you don't settle for someone who is not going to be a good match in the long term. A lot of people do settle because they think they already know what is right for them, and that is why there are all these divorces.

Aside from being able to meet a lot more women, casual relationships are generally more fun than sifting through exclusive relationship after exclusive relationship; and I think they generally make people more fun. Most people are much more likely to want to go out on a simple date, go out for drink, or hook up for a night, knowing that they won't have to be saddled with the political baggage of a relationship. Often you'll meet one proper, you don't need to really explain why you aren't calling the other women back, they can see your facebook status... and in my experience, it's good to have an exclusive relationship here and there to really understand why you fucking hate these things =D

Part of dating casually means you're casting a wider net. Anyway, I am going to split my life experience into 3 Jumpin A, B, and C. Give 1. my mindset, and 2. my experience. Jumpin A childhood until about 17-18. Jumpin B is 18-mid twenties. Jumpin C is late twenties, maybe early 30s - it doesn't matter! People are different and mature at different rates.

Jumpin A:
1. He knew EXACTLY which girl was going to be perfect for him.
2. He pursued that girl, and eventually got with her, but discovered that he was miserable and afraid of losing her ALL THE TIME. This girl would change over the years, and Jumpin A felt that maybe Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, and in the war of the sexes (note Jumpin B and C think Jumpin A was retarded). Jumpin A, never happy with his relationship status.

Jumpin B:
1. Realized he didn't have a clue what sort of woman was perfect for him if any such thing existed? Also realized women were the same species as him and both men and women were from planet earth, and no such sex wars existed beyond the minds of idiots (like he used to be... well he was still an idiot, just in different ways).
2. Jumpin B dated a lot of women, and sometimes found one he thought was great for him, but he really didn't know - trying a relationship was the best way to find out, right? Well, those relationships always peaked by the three-month mark, and usually quite a bit earlier. But at least he wasn't under any delusions that he actually knew if a "perfect girl" existed.

Jumpin C:

1. Liked dating, and actually knew a lot more if he liked a woman on a romantic level or not. But most of all he liked having fun, and had no interests in relationships to mess that up for him.
2. He would date LOTS of women casually. There was no drama, he didn't let it happen. He cast a wide net, sometimes hitting on over a dozen women in a night. And if he met one, it wouldn't stop him from hitting on women again the next night he went out. He also had a very good idea on what women NOT to hit on, so as not to cause any kind of turmoil. He was very good at finding women he dated that he actually liked, and rarely dated women he didn't like. Many of these women remain friends with him to this day because he didn't come off as a player of any sort - and he wasn't. Despite the commitment to not getting in a relationship, in less than a year Jumpin C met his wife, he knew right away that he liked her quite a bit - and these weren't just feelings of convenience, but genuine. So they began a relationship, and soon decided to marry. While others of his friends married and had kids too, the kids seemed to be a very strong stress on their relationships, many of Jumpin C's friends had their marriages end... but Jumpin C and his wife were strong together and genuinely cared for one another, and it was probably a lot easier for them to raise kids.

 

Now I am NOT saying that getting married and having kids should be your goal - what I am saying is that you'll be guaranteed to be in a better position to figure out when/if you're actually ready for this sort of thing, and who the best person to do it with is if you have experience. To really know yourself in the relationshipverse, experience and diversity are your best friends. Don't play games, be yourself, but just make yourself interesting - when I say be yourself, I don't mean to sit down and play video games all day and wait for people to come to you, because that's not really who you are, that's over-indulging in a hobby; I mean get out there and figure yourself out - at the beginning the more you think you have no idea about yourself or what sort of people are good to have relationships with, the better.

Did I make sense? I'm seriously high right now, so I am not sure if I have been coherent =D

Last edited by Jumpin - on 15 December 2018

I describe myself as a little dose of toxic masculinity.