I can somewhat relate but I never had anxiety that bad as I have always managed to enjoy quiet time on my own to calm me down (e.g. video games, practicing basketball shots on my own for hours) and never really had a reason to interact in big loud crowds, other than go to a school with very few students (maybe 200 in total). Sleep for me has always been 3-5 hours a night and even less when I was younger. I could go a week without sleep but in that time I always kept busy doing something.
The only time i really stopped keeping busy with other activities was when I did year 11 and figured shit this is my chance to make something of myself and to get into a good uni degree etc. Now this was a huge mistake for me as it used to stress me out as i put full concentration on the one thing and then i used to second guess myself because i was worried of getting a crap score. well i did get a crap score because ironically it is possible to over study and doubt what you are doing is right during an exam. In year 12 I went back to my normal routine of keeping busy with other activities which essentially did not give me extra time to overthink and second guess myself. I did so much better that year that I ended up with a high score and got into Engineering.
"- Breathing is a weird thing. Sometimes it's all fine, but sometimes I feel like I'm out of air and start to breathe as if had just run a marathon."
That usually happens when you are over thinking something subconsciously and your body forgets to breath. For me this happens when I am walking and stressing about solving a problem that i did not quite get done at work trying to work out what the solution is at the same time as stressing. Then for the next few minutes i'll be taking deep breaths.
How I am today:
I still do find people draining but that got easier the older you got and the fact you have to work to earn a living and are always surrounded by people. At school you could keep quiet to yourself and just study. At work you need to interact so you earn to cope. Saying that by the end of the day I am so happy to be home and away from everyone so that I can do my own thing without anyone around. I go from being so drained to recharged the moment I walk in the door at home. So the class you are taking were you get critiqued will help you in future to cope with work, that is a good idea so continue doing that.
I still sleep bugger all hours, but I do not feel tired as I have managed to essentially as mentioned before keep busy so I do not have to stress about other things.
As for people outside of work, I really only have like 3-5 people I can handle that do not stress me out mentally and on a rotational basis to I spend time with them. I usually don't go to bigger events with my wife as they still feel like a drain. If I do go I just stand there in the corner with a drink wishing I was home in a quiet place lol. Essentially I only go cause of my wife.
So yer for an outgoing person, my life sounds like hell as they are energy vampires who feed of people to keep them going lol, but for me it's fine as it is as I have my own energy to keep me going.
Confidence for people who lack it (like I used to and still do to a degree ) I found it grows with age and wisdom and the fact the older you get the less you care what others think of you.
