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CrazyGamer2017 on 09 April 2018
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BradleyJ said:
CrazyGamer2017 said: 

The point I was making in that post that you quote is very clear: If you don't want to have sex with someone or think you could not want to some time in the future, why marry that person? Marriage is supposed to be for life, if you don't feel like making a life commitment don't marry, just live with that person outside marriage and see how things go. I don't defend rape, I don't condone rapists, I'm ONLY saying it's weird to marry someone then having a problem with the very basic act that is totally specific to marriage: sex.

This is saying that if you marry someone that means that there should NEVER be a point in that marriage where you do not want to have sex with that person. I want you to know that this does not make sense and this type of mentality can and does lead to marital rape. There are any number of reasons a person might not want to have sex with their spouse/significant other: they're sick, they're tired, they're upset, or they just don't feel like it at that moment. Right this moment, I don't feel like having sex with my boyfriend because I'm stressed with work and I just want to deal with that right now. Does that mean I don't want to have sex with him later tonight? Of course not! It just means I don't want to have sex with him RIGHT NOW. If my boyfriend proceeds to have sex with me despite this and me saying no, that is rape.

And I agree with you, I made that clear there and in plenty other posts here. If you don't want to have sex with your boyfriend and he forces himself that is the very definition of rape. We AGREE.

However I don't agree when you say that my logic or what you call my "mentality" can and WILL lead to marital rape.

I say: If I don't want to have sex with someone or suspect there is a chance he/she could force himself at some point in the future, I am NOT marrying that person. So NOT marrying is what my "mentality" leads to. Now tell me how a spouse can rape me if through my mentality I choose to not marry him/her? If he rapes me it's not a marital rape since we are not married THANKS to my "mentality" having made me choose not marry him/her.