| adisababa said: Just want to know what's your opinion on cheating? Would you ever excuse it? What do you consider cheating? I'm in a bit of a mess soooo just want to know... Edit: For those who want to know, I kinda cheated on my girlfriend. I made out with a girl in a party but I stopped it from going any further and thankfully we didn't have sex and thankfully my friends stayed quiet about the situation, I was drunk out of my mind and did some stupid drug and she kinda dragged me to kiss her, I know it sounds like an excuse but it's true. I didn't tell my girlfriend and I told my friends to be quiet and I swept it under the rug. Never went to parties since, not my kind of thing, don't want to get crazy and I like spending time in a more intimate and small space with small groups of friends rather than a crazy, epileptic puke smelling place. So a few months later, I see the girl in my school for some project and wow is it killing me inside when I'm right in front of her with my girlfriend because now there's risk of it being dug up again and I don't want her to find out any other way but from me. She doesn't have a lot of friends besides me thankfully but the occasional girl gossip can reach her and I don't want that. Is that cheating? Come on, that can't be cheating, right? |
I have wondered about this situation for years and eventually found myself in a similar moral predicament. The dilemma revolves around the issue of whether it's ok to lie. Let me say right away to save you the pain that I went through, there is a time when it is ok to lie and this is such a time. You have obviously contemplated this and so that tells me you are not a psycho who cares fuck all for hurting people. You sound like a good man. Good men make mistakes and learn from them. So what's left is the pain and fear of her finding out.
But if you do tell her you, are going to cause her pain. The only time it is ok to lie is when you do so to prevent suffering. If it ever comes up that you did it just say you were concerned something may have happened but you were so out of it that you didn't recall. Focus on her and how happy she makes you. Put it out of your mind. If you did tell her the way you described to us she would forgive you. But it is better to absorb the pain of what you did rather than inflict it on her. Besides you shouldn't punish yourself (or her) over it. You didn't do anything permanently life alteringly wrong to anyone.
