Crush my E3 dreams!

[Salnax]

Over the past few weeks, I've sort of been developing a fantasy E3 lineup from Nintendo. I'm worried that it may set my expectations unrealistically high, so I'm going to share what I've been hoping for so that you can mock it and break my dreams. That way, Nintendo will not be able to disappoint me!

 

So, my dream E3 goes as thus:

• We open up to Iwata saying that he will bring E3 "Directly... to you."
• He'll be wearing a little triforce pin, and we'll start getting our hopes up.
• He lets the first trailer play, and its Zelda U. It features a sort of colorful yet realistic art style, kind of like Twilight Princess in HD with all the dullness removed. We don't see that much, but we get to see what new combat and design changes are brought to this entry, and online functionality is hinted at. Then, before we get to excited, the date "2015" comes up.
• "We would like to show you more than one Zelda game today."
• Next up is Hyrule Warriors, which by this point actually looks like a game with decent production values. Coming in September.
• Then, Majora's Mask 3D for the 3DS (coming this Holiday season)! Thus making a transition to the 3DS portion of the conference.
• Next game shown is Super Mario 3D Land 2, which is what EAD Tokyo spent their non-3D World time doing since 2013. Coming this Holiday season.
• We then get a 3rd party and/or indie reel, including games like Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate, Sonic Boom, Square Enix localizations, Persona Q, and Layton vs Ace Attorney.
• Last off, we get footage of Pokemon Z, the mandatory third version of Generation 6, coming this October.
• Halfway through the trailer for Pokemon Z though, something weird happens on the screen.
• Suddenly, the game features higher polygon models and is in HD?
• Pokemon Z is on both the 3DS and Wii U, with the later version featuring HD graphics and various unique features! And both versions are cross-compatible.
• By the way, Pokemon Z HD will be bundled with this new model of the Wii U which features more storage, has a GamePad with a better battery, and is a bit thinner.
• It is mentioned that Jigglypuff is returning to Smash Bros, making Captain Falcon the only original character not confirmed.
• This brings us back to the Wii U, where we transition to Mario Party 10... which turns out to be awesome since its a battle of four players with Wiimotes against the "game master" with the GamePad who controls the boards and AI, kind of like in some Nintendo Land games. Coming in October.
• Bayonetta 2 gets shown next, and is also announced for an October release.
• Yarn Yoshi is shown again for the first time in ages, and is eventually confirmed for a December release.
• New trailers for X and SMTxFE are shown, but are not 2014 games... outside of Japan at least. However, they are shown to be coming by mid-2015.
• Next up is the 3rd party reel. We see Sonic Boom, Watch Dogs, Project CARS, Skylanders 4, Disney Infinity 2, etc.
• Finally, Iwata says goodbye... and this music begins to play.
• Out of nowhere comes Reggie dressed up as Captain Falcon, who "punches" Iwata out of the frame.
• Reggie faces the camera and says "Show me your moves!"
• We see Captain Falcon in Smash Bros Wii U, punching Jigglypuff and whatnot, with the subtitle "coming this Holiday" at the bottom.
• Then, the scene switches to the 3DS version of the game, where he does his Final Smash in his future space-car thing.
• The Final Smash flies out of the screen, landing inside a 3DS lying around.
• The 3DS opens and we see a new F-Zero game in 3D with online play.
• Credits Roll
• Post-Credits, we see Iwata stumbling onto his feet, and saying "Coming to store shelves early next year."

 

So yeah... I'm a bit hopeful at the moment. That's where you come in! Explain why everything I'm hoping for is NEVER going to happen!

 

(Also, if you have high hopes for Nintendo's E3 presentation, feel free to share them.)