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That for whatever reason you are drawn to someone you don't even know and just met. As in being very interested in someone. A love at first sort of a thing just a little below that extreme since I am definitely not in love with this girl but I know absolutely nothing about her other than she works at Staples and apparently is fairly new there. It's not just a crush thing. I've had those before, even crushing on girls I knew little to nothing about but I can't think of another time I had one this bad. 

I mean I've seen plenty of other very attractive girls recently but I didn't feel anything towards them other than being attracted to them. This girl is absolutely gorgeous though. Maybe even the most attractive girl I've seen. Maybe that's being going way over broad but certainly one of the most attractive. I didn't check her out much at all. A lot of it has to do with me being there to do something (shipping) something and my aunt and uncle being in the store with me but it's weird because being with anyone hasn't ever really stopped me from checking someone out.

I'm not even sure how to explain this. I had to ship some things to my mother so I went up the stocking area and I couldn't even speak that much to her. I mean I did. I told where it was being shipped, that I wanted it there in a day, asked her for the exact price of the shipping when I forgot, etc. At one point when I was paying for the shipping when it was just me and her (my aunt and uncle were wondering around) I was close to being speechless.

It took me like a minute just to get the right amount of cash and I gave her over a few dollars so she give me my chance back and I was hurrying trying to put all my cash back in my wallet (I had a few hundreds dollars in cash) and I failed miserably so I just put the money in my pocket along with my wallet. 

She said have a nice rest of your day or something like that and I just said "You too" which I regret now but I was somewhat speechless. I don't even know if this girl is attracted to me (I consider myself fairly attractive and have had many girls try to get with me but after a period of horrible acne and things finally clearing up some of that attitude of "I don't care anymore" was left over. The last time I had a haircut was back in July so my hair was very long but it looked like shit. Completely flat and at times it ackwardly would go in one direction like I'm a fricking emo. She didn't flirt with me at least that I picked up on but she seemed just a little too nice to me.

Hell, I don't even know if she is single and I don't care. I got a haircut today, shaved and I feel pretty confident now looks wise. I recently moved over into the area and I'm really fucking hoping I can pick up a job at Staples where she is. I'm making a point to only apply at the one she works at because that's the only one I want to work at and if I get a job in customer service it will give me an excuse to see her and I wil make excuses even if I'm picking everything up nicely just so I can get some help from her.