Hardcore gamers are the sun

[gumby_trucker]

What's so hard to understand about this thread?
Clearly casual gamers are the planet Mercury in this analogy. Besides the fact that Mercury is a small planet, virtually invisible to the naked eye, completely devoid of interesting content and just basically an insignificant offshoot orbiting the Sun, it is also stated in the text in no uncertain terms.

All you have to do it take the first letter from the beginning of each sentence in the last paragraph (i.e. the smallest, least important one) to get the word 8HEI. Look it up on the web and you are directed to 8hei.com, which as clearly stated on the page that comes up, is a tiny private company based in Scottsdale, Arizona, with a meager net worth of $1330.

The Harry Potter fans among you should instantly recognize that number as the date of birth of the alchemist Nicolas Flamel, who was known throughout history to be one to deal with rare precious metals, and even earned mention in the personal memoirs of Isaac Newton when he referred to: "the Caduceus, the Dragons of Flammel".

Caduceus obviously being the name of the mythological sacred staff held by the Greek God's messenger Hermes, who's Roman name later became the name for the precious metal which was originally assigned to that very same symbol in alchemy by the school of Flammel and their followers.

And this same Roman name was also used for the star closest to the Sun: ie. Mercury.

Sorry I had to spell it out and ruin the joke for those who got it the first time, but this thread was in danger of being seriously derailed.