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Do you flicker your tongue at her while making a joke with her?

Do you talk directly into her boobs?

Have you ever told her that she cannot ignore your girth?

Do you tilt your head forward and move your eyebrows up and down when stating something?

When she bends over, do you motion your arms to simulate thrusting?

shen she turns around do you look directly at her butt?

These are all classic signs of reasons chicks have called me a perv before :/