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Tinder worth paying for?

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Is it worth paying for?

Yep! 3 9.38%
 
No! 29 90.63%
 
Total:32

You can't look at your ratio and assume it means you are worthless.

All of the dating apps will give extremely frequent matches to the extremely attractive friends, but that doesn't necessarily mean they just have it easy. One of my best buds gets nearly every other Tinder swipe over the last few years to be a match...yet he hasn't had ONE person go past a first date (and hasn't tried just getting laid).

Meanwhile, I had a ratio more like you, but wasn't obsessively using it with the expectation that I needed a girlfriend, but rather that I was open to getting one if it worked out. I successfully matched with the woman who is now my wife (but on Bumble).

And if you are worried about percentage of swipes, Match or other paid services isn't going to be your magical saving grace. Pretty much zero women ever responded to any of my well thought out messages when I used that service.

All of this aside, however. Tinder is hands down probably the worst app you can use, as it is frequently the one I hear more people saying they are using it solely to get laid, or just have funny conversations with people.



Money can't buy happiness. Just video games, which make me happy.

Dyotropic said:
Immersiveunreality said:

Step 1 and 2 yes.(but you do not need to be a semi Brad Pitt,healthy looking is always good)

Being wealthy is not needed and Tinder does work but only gives frequent hits for the good looking.

Bolded: You must have had some bad experiences to be so pessimistic about it,and a shallow way to look at women.

To respond to your bolded points. 

Yes, I am now in the top 5% of men. I wasn't until recently. I followed those steps above. 

Multiple studies show as much as 85% of all consumer purchases are done by women. It's especially biased in material goods. For example, the majority of new car purchases are women. There are some reasons for this difference such as women living longer than men, but even with that accounted for it is extremely unbalanced. While you don't need to be a pro-athlete wealthy, you must be able to provide for you and your woman. They like to be spoiled. 

https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/329780

While some women may be materialistic, let's not make generalizations like that.
Plenty of women with a normal paying job are able to provide for themselves while enjoying many of the things they desire, such as food, travel, entertainment, etc, that a wealthy partner is lower on their list of priorities. Which is not uncommon even among those who feel they don't earn enough.
There are of course those on the other side of the spectrum, but that's no reason to generalize.

Regarding the article you linked, it didn't cite which study it was referring to.
But across the world it is still more common for a woman to be the stay at home parent. As such, she will often do the grocery shopping, buy clothes and supplies for the children, and generally oversee the household budget. It's not because women are more attracted to shiny objects, but because their position requires it.

Last edited by Hiku - on 25 December 2019

Dyotropic said:
Immersiveunreality said:

Step 1 and 2 yes.(but you do not need to be a semi Brad Pitt,healthy looking is always good)

Being wealthy is not needed and Tinder does work but only gives frequent hits for the good looking.

Bolded: You must have had some bad experiences to be so pessimistic about it,and a shallow way to look at women.

Immersiveunreality said:

Step 1 and 2 yes.(but you do not need to be a semi Brad Pitt,healthy looking is always good)

Being wealthy is not needed and Tinder does work but only gives frequent hits for the good looking.

Bolded: You must have had some bad experiences to be so pessimistic about it,and a shallow way to look at women.

To respond to your bolded points. 

Yes, I am now in the top 5% of men. I wasn't until recently. I followed those steps above. 

Multiple studies show as much as 85% of all consumer purchases are done by women. It's especially biased in material goods. For example, the majority of new car purchases are women. There are some reasons for this difference such as women living longer than men, but even with that accounted for it is extremely unbalanced. While you don't need to be a pro-athlete wealthy, you must be able to provide for you and your woman. They like to be spoiled. 

https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/329780

Your assumptions about woman because you missunderstood an article and ignore factors that have a certain effect on those stats are questionable.

Place,time(not only because women live longer than men),culture and how one is socially placed determines spending habit for a great part and you say men need to provide for our women and they like to be spoiled,how unthoughtfull can you get about a whole gender?

Personality is key and maybe you lacked it when you weren't part of the 5% yet and couldnt get women but i get that selfreflection is not an easy task.Women also buy more new cars because they tend to drive longer with them and look for more safe cheap and durable cars while men make more car related purchases but buy more secondhand(in europe) so your theory about women being more materialistic in general while using that argument falls flat and is not tied to a gender.



Hiku said:
Dyotropic said:

To respond to your bolded points. 

Yes, I am now in the top 5% of men. I wasn't until recently. I followed those steps above. 

Multiple studies show as much as 85% of all consumer purchases are done by women. It's especially biased in material goods. For example, the majority of new car purchases are women. There are some reasons for this difference such as women living longer than men, but even with that accounted for it is extremely unbalanced. While you don't need to be a pro-athlete wealthy, you must be able to provide for you and your woman. They like to be spoiled. 

https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/329780

While some women may be materialistic, let's not make generalizations like that.
Plenty of women with a normal paying job are able to provide for themselves while enjoying many of the things they desire, such as food, travel, entertainment, etc, that a wealthy partner is lower on their list of priorities. Which is not uncommon even among those who feel they don't earn enough.
There are of course those on the other side of the spectrum, but that's no reason to generalize.

Regarding the article you linked, it didn't cite which study it was referring to.
But across the world it is still more common for a woman to be the stay at home parent. As such, she will often do the grocery shopping, buy clothes and supplies for the children, and generally oversee the household budget. It's not because women are more attracted to shiny objects, but because their position requires it.

Yes, but you won't find those women you described on tinder. 

Read this article. Where 44% of women admit that they only went on a date for free food. 

https://nypost.com/2017/08/30/beware-of-foodie-call-dates-who-are-just-in-it-for-a-free-meal/

There are plenty of articles and studies that show how women make the majority of consumer purchases. Yes, they do buy things for their families, such as clothes and groceries, and that is part of the reason for the lopsided gender ratio, but 41% of women ages 25 to 44 are single and that number is growing every year. 

https://www.cnn.com/2019/08/29/economy/single-women-economy/index.html

Women on average own 3 to 4 more high end "luxury" fashion items than men. Look at the number of shoes the average woman has verse the average male. It's crazy. 



I've had good results with Bumble and Match, the downside is you have to pay for the sub if you want to do anything like message other users (on Match)



Immersiveunreality said:
Dyotropic said:

To respond to your bolded points. 

Yes, I am now in the top 5% of men. I wasn't until recently. I followed those steps above. 

Multiple studies show as much as 85% of all consumer purchases are done by women. It's especially biased in material goods. For example, the majority of new car purchases are women. There are some reasons for this difference such as women living longer than men, but even with that accounted for it is extremely unbalanced. While you don't need to be a pro-athlete wealthy, you must be able to provide for you and your woman. They like to be spoiled. 

https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/329780

Your assumptions about woman because you missunderstood an article and ignore factors that have a certain effect on those stats are questionable.

Place,time(not only because women live longer than men),culture and how one is socially placed determines spending habit for a great part and you say men need to provide for our women and they like to be spoiled,how unthoughtfull can you get about a whole gender?

Personality is key and maybe you lacked it when you weren't part of the 5% yet and couldnt get women but i get that selfreflection is not an easy task.Women also buy more new cars because they tend to drive longer with them and look for more safe cheap and durable cars while men make more car related purchases but buy more secondhand(in europe) so your theory about women being more materialistic in general while using that argument falls flat and is not tied to a gender.

Personality is difficult to express online. If you look at tinder profiles most of them are  variations of I like to hike, cook, meme, game etc. 

I agree that personality and would add communication are important to healthy relationships, but online you are judged by looks and wealth before anything else.  



Dyotropic said:
Hiku said:

While some women may be materialistic, let's not make generalizations like that.
Plenty of women with a normal paying job are able to provide for themselves while enjoying many of the things they desire, such as food, travel, entertainment, etc, that a wealthy partner is lower on their list of priorities. Which is not uncommon even among those who feel they don't earn enough.
There are of course those on the other side of the spectrum, but that's no reason to generalize.

Regarding the article you linked, it didn't cite which study it was referring to.
But across the world it is still more common for a woman to be the stay at home parent. As such, she will often do the grocery shopping, buy clothes and supplies for the children, and generally oversee the household budget. It's not because women are more attracted to shiny objects, but because their position requires it.

Yes, but you won't find those women you described on tinder. 

There are sites and apps specifically for sugar daddy relationships.
But a lot of people use Tinder just because it can be difficult to meet someone the normal way. Whether its their work schedule, or they want to be left alone and not hit on every 5 minutes when they go out clubbing with their friends during the only times in the month they actually get to hang out, etc.

A surprising amount of people in my circle of friends and acquaintances have used Tinder at some point. Some of whom are still together with that person, and it's not because of any notable financial differences.

Though if in your profile you're presenting designer brands and otherwise expensive items, then you may attract a certain type of person. 

Dyotropic said:

Read this article. Where 44% of women admit that they only went on a date for free food. 

https://nypost.com/2017/08/30/beware-of-foodie-call-dates-who-are-just-in-it-for-a-free-meal/

There are plenty of articles and studies that show how women make the majority of consumer purchases. Yes, they do buy things for their families, such as clothes and groceries, and that is part of the reason for the lopsided gender ratio, but 41% of women ages 25 to 44 are single and that number is growing every year. 

https://www.cnn.com/2019/08/29/economy/single-women-economy/index.html

Women on average own 3 to 4 more high end "luxury" fashion items than men. Look at the number of shoes the average woman has verse the average male. It's crazy. 

Well the first article's survey seems based in US. Where there's a perception that the guy is supposed to pay for the first date.
It says that 44% of young women surveyed said "because why not; it’s a free meal".
And I've heard sentiments like that before. "Why not. We may hit it off. But if it turns out there's no chemistry and my date is actually boring, at least it wasn't a complete waste of my time, because I got a free meal."

If roles were reverse and it was expected of women to pay for the first date in the US, I'm sure a lot of guys would take a chance on more girls than they normally would, for that reason.

And I mentioned USA because in Sweden for example, where I live, going on a first date isn't really a thing. Once people are in a committed relationship, then they start going out on dates, or having date nights at home, etc.

As for the second part of your comment, about the number of women single, I'm not sure what you're saying there.
But the second article mentions how single or unmarried women tend to spend more than their married friends. And that makes sense, doesn't it?
When you're younger, and/or looking for a partner, you tend to put more of an effort into how you present yourself. Skincare, clothes, makeup, hair, gym, clubbing, drinks, etc. Then once you get married, there's the expression that "you let yourself go" a bit.

Not sure where that "3 to 4 more high end "luxury" fashion items than men" comes from, but I wouldn't doubt it. Designer bags can cost a lot, and there's no equivalence to it on the men's side.
Some girls do have a rather big shoe collection. I asked someone about that, and she said she feels it's expected of her to wear something different every day. While guys at the office where she works can wear the same suit every single day and no one would bat an eye.
Married women tend to get expensive wedding rings per tradition, some times with a real diamond, as opposed to the man's ring which tends to be more simple.
The bride's wedding dress tends to be more expensive than the suit, etc.


But based on the people I've met in my life, I don't get the perception that women in general tend to seek out partners for material reasons. In fact, I've known more than a few who are quite prideful when it comes to things like letting a guy pay for things that they can pay for themselves.
A girl I was seeing some years ago wouldn't even let me refill her SIM card when she couldn't afford it herself until her next paycheck, which was a few days later. I told her "ok, just refund me the money in a few days when you get paid. Otherwise you won't be able to call me until then." It took about 2 hours of arguing with her before she accepted even that.
Another girl wouldn't let me pay for her coffee and cake at a cafe. And only agreed if I let her pay for me next time. And she did.
I later asked her to go see a movie with me, and I paid for it. Next time she asked me to watch a film with her, and she paid for it. Etc.

Last edited by Hiku - on 25 December 2019

Hiku said:
Dyotropic said:

Yes, but you won't find those women you described on tinder. 

There are sites and apps specifically for sugar daddy relationships.
But a lot of people use Tinder just because it can be difficult to meet someone the normal way. Whether its their work schedule, or they want to be left alone and not hit on every 5 minutes when they go out clubbing with their friends during the only times in the month they actually get to hang out, etc.

A surprising amount of people in my circle of friends and acquaintances have used Tinder at some point. Some of whom are still together with that person, and it's not because of any notable financial differences.

Though if in your profile you're presenting designer brands and otherwise expensive items, then you may attract a certain type of person. 

Dyotropic said:

Read this article. Where 44% of women admit that they only went on a date for free food. 

https://nypost.com/2017/08/30/beware-of-foodie-call-dates-who-are-just-in-it-for-a-free-meal/

There are plenty of articles and studies that show how women make the majority of consumer purchases. Yes, they do buy things for their families, such as clothes and groceries, and that is part of the reason for the lopsided gender ratio, but 41% of women ages 25 to 44 are single and that number is growing every year. 

https://www.cnn.com/2019/08/29/economy/single-women-economy/index.html

Women on average own 3 to 4 more high end "luxury" fashion items than men. Look at the number of shoes the average woman has verse the average male. It's crazy. 

Well the first article's survey seems based in US. Where there's a perception that the guy is supposed to pay for the first date.
It says that 44% of young women surveyed said "because why not; it’s a free meal".
And I've heard sentiments like that before. "Why not. We may hit it off. But if it turns out there's no chemistry and my date is actually boring, at least it wasn't a complete waste of my time, because I got a free meal."

If roles were reverse and it was expected of women to pay for the first date in the US, I'm sure a lot of guys would take a chance on more girls than they normally would, for that reason.

And I mentioned USA because in Sweden for example, where I live, going on a first date isn't really a thing. Once people are in a committed relationship, then they start going out on dates, or having date nights at home, etc.

As for the second part of your comment, about the number of women single, I'm not sure what you're saying there.
But the second article mentions how single or unmarried women tend to spend more than their married friends. And that makes sense, doesn't it?
When you're younger, and/or looking for a partner, you tend to put more of an effort into how you present yourself. Skincare, clothes, makeup, hair, gym, clubbing, drinks, etc. Then once you get married, there's the expression that "you let yourself go" a bit.

Not sure where that "3 to 4 more high end "luxury" fashion items than men" comes from, but I wouldn't doubt it. Designer bags can cost a lot, and there's no equivalence to it on the men's side.
Some girls do have a rather big shoe collection. I asked someone about that, and she said she feels it's expected of her to wear something different every day. While guys at the office where she works can wear the same suit every single day and no one would bat an eye.
Married women tend to get expensive wedding rings per tradition, some times with a real diamond, as opposed to the man's ring which tends to be more simple.
The bride's wedding dress tends to be more expensive than the suit, etc.


But based on the people I've met in my life, I don't get the perception that women in general tend to seek out partners for material reasons. In fact, I've known more than a few who are quite prideful when it comes to things like letting a guy pay for things that they can pay for themselves.
A girl I was seeing some years ago wouldn't even let me refill her SIM card when she couldn't afford it herself until her next paycheck, which was a few days later. I told her "ok, just refund the money in a few days when you get paid. Otherwise you won't be able to call me until then." It took about 2 hours of arguing with her before she accepted even that.
Another girl wouldn't let me pay for her coffee and cake at a cafe. And only agreed if I let her pay for me next time. And she did.
I later asked her to go see a movie with me, and I paid for it. Next time she asked me to watch a film with her, and she paid for it. Etc.

Hiku said:
Dyotropic said:

Yes, but you won't find those women you described on tinder. 

There are sites and apps specifically for sugar daddy relationships.
But a lot of people use Tinder just because it can be difficult to meet someone the normal way. Whether its their work schedule, or they want to be left alone and not hit on every 5 minutes when they go out clubbing with their friends during the only times in the month they actually get to hang out, etc.

A surprising amount of people in my circle of friends and acquaintances have used Tinder at some point. Some of whom are still together with that person, and it's not because of any notable financial differences.

Though if in your profile you're presenting designer brands and otherwise expensive items, then you may attract a certain type of person. 

Dyotropic said:

Read this article. Where 44% of women admit that they only went on a date for free food. 

https://nypost.com/2017/08/30/beware-of-foodie-call-dates-who-are-just-in-it-for-a-free-meal/

There are plenty of articles and studies that show how women make the majority of consumer purchases. Yes, they do buy things for their families, such as clothes and groceries, and that is part of the reason for the lopsided gender ratio, but 41% of women ages 25 to 44 are single and that number is growing every year. 

https://www.cnn.com/2019/08/29/economy/single-women-economy/index.html

Women on average own 3 to 4 more high end "luxury" fashion items than men. Look at the number of shoes the average woman has verse the average male. It's crazy. 

Well the first article's survey seems based in US. Where there's a perception that the guy is supposed to pay for the first date.
It says that 44% of young women surveyed said "because why not; it’s a free meal".
And I've heard sentiments like that before. "Why not. We may hit it off. But if it turns out there's no chemistry and my date is actually boring, at least it wasn't a complete waste of my time, because I got a free meal."

If roles were reverse and it was expected of women to pay for the first date in the US, I'm sure a lot of guys would take a chance on more girls than they normally would, for that reason.

And I mentioned USA because in Sweden for example, where I live, going on a first date isn't really a thing. Once people are in a committed relationship, then they start going out on dates, or having date nights at home, etc.

As for the second part of your comment, about the number of women single, I'm not sure what you're saying there.
But the second article mentions how single or unmarried women tend to spend more than their married friends. And that makes sense, doesn't it?
When you're younger, and/or looking for a partner, you tend to put more of an effort into how you present yourself. Skincare, clothes, makeup, hair, gym, clubbing, drinks, etc. Then once you get married, there's the expression that "you let yourself go" a bit.

Not sure where that "3 to 4 more high end "luxury" fashion items than men" comes from, but I wouldn't doubt it. Designer bags can cost a lot, and there's no equivalence to it on the men's side.
Some girls do have a rather big shoe collection. I asked someone about that, and she said she feels it's expected of her to wear something different every day. While guys at the office where she works can wear the same suit every single day and no one would bat an eye.
Married women tend to get expensive wedding rings per tradition, some times with a real diamond, as opposed to the man's ring which tends to be more simple.
The bride's wedding dress tends to be more expensive than the suit, etc.


But based on the people I've met in my life, I don't get the perception that women in general tend to seek out partners for material reasons. In fact, I've known more than a few who are quite prideful when it comes to things like letting a guy pay for things that they can pay for themselves.
A girl I was seeing some years ago wouldn't even let me refill her SIM card when she couldn't afford it herself until her next paycheck, which was a few days later. I told her "ok, just refund the money in a few days when you get paid. Otherwise you won't be able to call me until then." It took about 2 hours of arguing with her before she accepted even that.
Another girl wouldn't let me pay for her coffee and cake at a cafe. And only agreed if I let her pay for me next time. And she did.
I later asked her to go see a movie with me, and I paid for it. Next time she asked me to watch a film with her, and she paid for it. Etc.

I live in Beverley hills, so maybe I am on the extreme end of things, but I really don't think tinder is that much different here. Tinder for your average male is nearly impossible, and I am speaking from experiences of me and my friends. I have plenty of stories. You are competing with the hedge fund babies and pro-athletes. 

Americans, in general, are also much more materialistic compared to other countries. 

Last edited by Dyotropic - on 25 December 2019

Dyotropic said:

I live in Beverley hills,

Ok, that puts your outlook on things into perspective. Although I only know of the Bverly Hills stereotypes, but I can imagine it's rough out there.



I'm open to a relationship should one develop organically, but due to my current circumstances I am mostly just looking to get out there, date, hopefully get laid.

The brief FWB relationship I had for a few months earlier this year was amazing, it's a shame that came to an end, I could've really used something like that at the moment. Just something fun and positive.

My (biological) looks and social impairments are probably the biggest challenges to my search for action. I'm working on trying to counter these by dressing and grooming well, and trying to learn to feign a more carefree attitude. Basically, to mask my awkwardness and anxiety, which is proving challenging. Still, perseverance is key, at least it has been to most things I've achieved in my life.